Sunday, July 12, 2015

Who is Number One?


What happens when Airport (1970) becomes Airplane! (1980)? When Blofeld becomes Dr. Evil, and James Bond becomes Austin Powers?

Where do you go after deconstruction? Is there a way back?

In the very last episode of the iconic 1960s TV series The Prisoner, "Fall Out", Number Six earns the right to be an individual. For he has so incessantly and relentlessly resisted all the efforts to have him settle into the Village, that the powers-that-be are left with no choice: have the chair yourself. You win...

Only Bill Shatner has the privilege of seeing his unmasked bald self...

Václav Havel. Nelson Mandela. William Shatner?

Post deconstruction. Post parody...

William Shatner in a 1976 appearance in the game show Storybook Squares  (thanks to a reader for the tip).

A return to the now impervious original...

There's no two ways about it anymore, William Shatner has earned the right to say whatever he wants about his hair, their hair, your hair. Anyone's hair. And he has earned the right, after years of uncompromising battles, to have us believe his hair is real, too. It really is "Shatner's World: We Just Live in It"...

Witness two recent example of this Brave New World:

 A May interview with Vanity Fair to promote Bill Shatner's new TV series William Shatner's Brown Bag Wine Tasting.

(Interviewer) Jessica Pilot: I love wine. I only really drink white wine.

William Shatner: There you are. So, if you like the wine and we engage in a conversation about the wine, we ease our way into why your hair is as beautiful and long as it is; and let’s talk about your hair as well as the wine
. And now we’re into something personal and hopefully get some human information about you that you and everybody else doesn’t know about. [emphasis ours]

Jessica Pilot: I wanted to ask you about comedy. Are you interested in it?

Jessica Pilot

Pilot knows. Bill Shatner knows. We know. For he can "ease" his way into talking about someone else's hair all he likes. He can "hopefully get some human information about you that you and everybody else doesn’t know about". Those are the rules. All we can do in return is: "ask you about comedy". That's what happens when you've finally won. 

Need more proof?

News came out at the end of May that William Shatner would be playing writer Mark Twain in an episode of Canadian detective series Murdoch Mysteries.  Mark Twain!

This Mark Twain:

In on-screen versions, he can be made to look pretty much like the real thing, as in an exceptional performance by actor Jerry Hardin in two episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation

Image via

But Bill Shatner - because he can - won't be removing his "Denny Katz" toup for anyone:

And he can even mention that fact to CBC reporters:

"Twain was tall and slim with white hair, at least when he got older, so I am playing my version of it."

What else can we do but offer a Jessica Pilot-style non-follow-up akin to: "I wanted to ask you about comedy. Are you interested in it?"

After almost 60 years of toupee-wearing, the 84-year-old has elevated himself and his toupee-wearing beyond parody, beyond deconstruction. And the mystery of Patrick McGoohan's controversial, surreal ending to his iconic TV show may at last be solved...

Did Patrick McGoohan predict that Bill Shatner's toupee would survive "intact and secure"

To quote the character of The President in the final episode of The Prisoner:

"He has revolted. Resisted. Fought. Held fast. Maintained. Destroyed resistance. Overcome coercion. The right to be a Person, Someone, or Individual. We applaud his private war and concede that despite materialistic efforts he has survived intact and secure. All that remains is recognition of a Man."


We wanted to remind our readers that on Tuesday, July 14, the New Horizons probe will be flying its closest approach past the dwarf planet Pluto, yielding some amazing photographs. Of the old Solar System count of nine planets, this is the last one we have yet to photograph up close. So it really is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

 This Hubble image was the best we had...

Naturally, given our huge experience of studying images of William Shatner's scalp for potential bald spots, lace lines and other phenomena, the WSSTS has been working very, very closely with the New Horizons team since the start of the project, including adapting our ultra-powerful touposcopes for use in outer space.

Plutoup? A never-before-seen surface!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Toupological roundup


We're absolutely drowning in toupees at the moment - with many great tips provided by our valued readers - so we thought the best thing to do was to publish a bumper roundup and clear the decks.

There's a 70s era pic apparently from 1972:

Once again Bill Shatner stakes a claim to be the true fifth Beatle. 

A striking style, but we'd say not necessarily the worst of 70s toupological excesses.

Then we have a gallery of characters from Bill Shatner's short-lived "master of disguise" series Barbary Coast via Getty Images.

Thie first, rather rarely from the 1970s, employs the "lace front" forehead attachment method we know and love from the "Jim Kirk lace": 

After that, things just get plain silly...

We've also had much talk about BIll Shatner possibly finally saying "what the hell" - or "sod it" in British parlance - with regards to keeping his toup in prime form. Why not, right? At age 84, the actor has become a global icon, Twitter fanatic (seriously!), and can get away with pretty much anything (even weird - but typically bold - irrigation ideas)...

If there's just a little less time for the toup, so be it...

But let's at least agree...

...that we don't want matters to get too out of hand. After all, we know from our pets that quality of fur is a strong indicator of all-round health. So routine is important...

As a celebrity, Bill Shatner remains in the glare of the limelight...

Anyone know what this is from?

For more on how spectroscopy can be used to determine chemical properties see here.

Now let's go back to 1979s Star Trek: The Motion Picture...

And an image via the good folks at My Star Trek Scrapbook. Clint Eastwood visiting the set with his family.

But why is Bill Shatner apparently not wearing his "TJ Curly"? Was there still a personal-use toup at this point, which differed from the "public appearance toup"? Does this picture show a coveted patch? Astronomers study Hubble Telescope images for amazing pictures like this:

Ever wondered how the staff at the William Shatner School of Toupological Studies reacts when they appear to stumble upon something?

Even if to the untrained eye, the contours may appear less-than-clear...

Our staff cherish and celebrate each potential find...

There is often much to squeeze into our busy schedules...

Occasionally, that can lead to pressure...

And even some tension and fraying around the edges...

But we are soon reminded that with each toupee comes new potential for discovery and exploration.

"A fresh batch of toupees arrives for me by courier on the first of every month. It is always a time of great anticipation, awe and excitement." - William Shatner (didn't say)

Let's end with a clip from a very rare 1990s TV documentary about the work of the William Shatner School of Toupological Studies. Staff assess an "impact site" (area subjected to extensive touposcopic examination), and are amazed by the results:


Thanks for the tips. Have we missed anything?

Friday, March 6, 2015

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - a toupological analysis

And so there was a sequel: Khan. Genesis. Kirk's son. Spock dies...

1982's Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is widely considered as either one of the best, or indeed the best of the original series big screen outings.

Firstly, why was this film ever made? For all its creative failings and production turmoil 1979's Star Trek: The Motion Picture managed to rake-in a respectable $139 million worldwide against what was then an astronomical budget of $46 million (a barley acceptable 302 percent return; incidentally 1977's Star Wars cost only $11 million and ended up making $775.4 million - a 7,049 percent return!).

Asides from satiating a hungry army of Star Trek fans, we suspect that a considerable part of ST:TMP's box office success was a direct result of the Star Wars boom - for many non-Trekkers, the Enterprise crew's premiere big screen outing served as a sufficient sci-fi fix in the run up to the mid-1980 release of The Empire Strikes Back.

In many ways, Star Wars (1977) was more like the Star Trek TV series than ST:TMP

And so Star Wars saved Star Trek not once, but twice. Fox had a franchise in Star Wars. Did Paramount have one in Star Trek?

"The Creator" Gene Roddenberry was out. Kicked upstairs to the ceremonial role of Executive Consultant. TV producer Harve Bennett instead assumed the reigns. "Could you make [a better picture] for less than forty-five f*@#ing million dollars?" Bennett recalled a studio exec asking him.

"Oh boy, where I come from, I could make five movies for that."

Harve Bennet and Gene Roddenberry.

After a few months, however, Bennett and writer Jack Sowards were stuck in rewrite hell. Lots of ideas, but no workable script. Enter the famously neurotic writer-director Nicholas Meyer. He described a meeting with Bennett and fellow producer Robert Sallin:

"Why don’t we make a list of everything we like in these five drafts? Could be a plot, a subplot, a sequence, a scene, a character, a line even . . .And then I will write a new script and cobble together all the things we choose."

A miraculously quick rewrite ensued, which led to a rather miraculous script.

Testing the waters? Bill Shatner performs a scalp meld on director Nicholas Meyer.

We should note that at this point in the history of Star Trek, the behind-the-scenes story and on-screen antics of the Starship Enterprise essentially fuse into one.

The now-defunct Cinefantastique magazine.

During the 1980s, it wasn't enough to merely go see Treks II, III, IV etc... Rather, in magazines such as Starlog and Cinefantastique, fans could learn about every aspect of how these films were made, from discarded story ideas to the effects magic of ILM. All part of the package...

Creating a nebula in a tank - source.

Another crucial factor in Star Trek II was Leonard Nimoy's initial reluctance to return for a "cash-in" adventure: "I really was adamant that I would not work on Star Trek II because I had been so frustrated with [The Motion Picture] and I was feeling very negative about the whole thing," the actor recalled.

But Harve Bennet had a potentially irresistible hook: "Leonard, how would you like to play your death scene?" the producer asked Nimoy over the phone. Spock was in.

So this sequel ended up defying logic - the fragmented nature of its construction actually helped rather than hindered the final product. Crucially, the audience watches a story unfold with no idea about what will happen next...

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is responsible for creating something of a storytelling fallacy: discard the loftiness of the original and bring in a bad-ass "black hat" villain in the sequel. Wham! Bang! Boom! That's more like it!

As director Bryan Singer said of his never-realised plans for a sequel to (the yawn-fest that was) 2006's Superman Returns: "I plan to get all Wrath of Khan on it." Flash forward to 2013 and the literal sequel to the literal re-boot of the Star Trek franchise, which literally brings back Khan; and, in case that wasn't subtle enough, it was literally called Into Darkness. Get it? Dark. Villain. Is we becoming more dumber?

Khan - now blond and mulleted.

But the strengths of the 1982 sequel arguably have very little to do with Khan alone. Indeed, he is barely in the movie. Stuck on the bridge of the starship Reliant spouting histrionic tongue-twisters, one could even argue that the villain represents the weakest part of The Wrath of Khan, a mere shadow of the devious, ultra-manipulative tyrant of the original series episode "Space Seed".

A possible key reason for The Wrath of Khan's strong script is that it avoided the narrative traps, which to greater or lesser extent ensnared no less than four of the original Trek films:
ST: I - We'll get there and see something amazing!
ST: III - We'll get there and hopefully find something amazing (and then bring it back)!
ST: IV - We'll get there and hopefully find something amazing (and then bring it back)!
ST: V - We'll get there and see something amazing!

ST:TMP - staring and waiting to get there...

Only II and VI present story structures, which are more snake-like, meaning countless unexpected twists and turns. VI, we would argue, is less successful at this with its somewhat muddled murder-mystery plot. From a storytelling viewpoint Star Trek II is mature, literate and bursting with all kinds of well-woven themes and tensions. And that has very little to do with the cliché about "getting all Wrath of Khan on it". That is just far too simplistic.  

Star Trek II isn't about explosions and villains - it is about life and death; old age and the creation of life; friendship and family; love and loss. It is Horatio Hornblower meets Charles Dickens. Back in 1958, Robert Wise, director of ST:TMP, directed a submarine movie called Run Silent, Run Deep - ironically, very similar to Meyer's deliberately more militaristic and claustrophobic Star Trek film...

Life and death...and life.
The production also included contentious re-shoots, filmed without Meyer's participation, in which Spock's death was made less final. As the end of production neared, it became clear that this movie might actually be good - so what the hell have we done by killing Spock? Backpedaling ensued, from "Remember..." to a coffin on Genesis. The groundwork had been laid for a Star Trek III.

"Remember..." (to leave room for a sequel)

For all the it's strengths, including a terrific score by James Horner, other movies in the series arguably do better in terms of cinematography (III and IV) and production design (again III and IV). Star Trek II never looked very good on home video with its very 1982-ish yellow-blood red color palette.

When the Enterprise bridge goes red for red alert, it goes almost totally red, which always looked pretty horrible on VHS and even DVD.

"Bleeding" reds on home video.

Speaking of Gayne Rescher's cinematography, why is Khan's Reliant bridge lit so cheerfully bright (with hints of minty green), while the Enterprise - along with the rest of the movie - is lit with far greater broodiness and contrast?

Odd mismatch - the "bright" villainous Khan and the very red Enterprise.

But there is something of a revelation to be had here, too: for anyone who hasn't seen this movie remastered on Blu-ray (hitherto the only one of the six properly restored for release on this format) we strongly recommend it. Though still unusual in terms of its aesthetic feel, the movie looks far better. The conscious effort to move away from the muted, under-lit look of ST:TMP and revive some of the colored gel techniques used in the Original Series leaps through the screen with a clarity not seen since Khan was released in cinemas.

In summary: certainly Khan suffers less from its low budget than TMP suffered from its excessive budget. But the lack of any location photography (until the tacked-on ending) is somewhat stifling, and the interior Genesis Cave (pictured above) set is rather odd and implausible. And, of course, Khan and Kirk never meet face to face. Lots of small gripes like that, but overall very successful.

Let's move swiftly to the hair...

Bill Shatner promotes Khan on the Merv Griffin Show. Note the easily identifiable demarcation line between toup and real hair.

The immovable "patty" of TMP is laid to rest in Star Trek II.

Rather, the hair returns to a slightly less perfect state, akin to the toup seen in newly-revealed (thanks to readers for tip) costume/makeup tests for Star Trek: The Motion Picture:

Bill Shatner in 1978, before he went on a crash diet. Note the less patty-like hair.

All part of a conscious effort by both Meyer and Bennet to have the characters look like they had aged since TOS. "I had to be dragged in kicking and screaming," Bill Shatner recalled of his reluctance with regards to spotlighting the middle-agedness of Captain Kirk.

While III has wind and IV has water, II sees very little physical action to challenge or disrupt the toupee. Perhaps this is why the movie represents the final Trek appearance of the "cap" version of the "T.J. Curly". For the next movies (no doubt caused by the demands of the very physical T.J. Hooker TV series in which the actor was starring) a sturdier, more resilient "T.J. Curly" would be affixed to the top and also the sides of the head.

An occasional flaw is visible (top left), but no real "toupological moments"

The closest we could find to a real "MTI" (Moment of Toupological Interest) was a shot from the end of the movie:

This, too, we believe, was part of the non-Meyer re-shoots. For some reason, there is an almost "Afro" look to Bill Shatner's hair in the wide shot. Why does the hair suddenly seem so curly? Is it to help visualize that Kirk is wound-up over the loss of Spock?

Finally, it is with great sadness that we publish this review at a time when three de facto "torch-holding producers" of the Star Trek franchise have passed away, all within the space of a little over a week - Maurice Hurley (a kind of Trotsky figure to Rick Berman's Stalin), Leonard Nimoy and Harve Bennett.

Bill Shatner made some eyebrow-raising headlines with regards to Leonard Nimoy's passing. Sometimes, the behind-the-scenes stories are far more complex, and the reactions of those who survive are not what we expect...

We note that Paul McCartney had not seen John Lennon for four years when his "brother" was tragically shot in December 1980. Never the most comfortable about expressing his feelings publicly, the devastated and deeply shocked former Beatle was unfairly berated for calling the news "a drag".

"We just don't have that kind of a relationship anymore - we used to..." Nimoy lamented of Shatner in a 2014 interview with Piers Morgan. The once brotherly pair seemed to have stopped their mutual Twitter banter some time ago, too. Were they really as close friends as Kirk and Spock? Did they have some kind of falling out? And do Kirk's rhetorical words in Star Trek II apply at all here?: " we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life, wouldn't you say?"

There are always possibilities...

Leonard Nimoy (1931-2015) and Harve Bennett (1930-2015)